


Don't Hide Yourself Away From Me

by PayItForwardYo



Series: Moments [9]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-11
Updated: 2014-09-11
Packaged: 2018-02-17 00:41:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2290655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PayItForwardYo/pseuds/PayItForwardYo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Relationships are hard no matter who you are.  Throw in a magical bond and things only get harder.  As Regina and Emma's relationship grows, the magical bond connecting them strengthens and leads to issues of trust and sacrifice that our ladies must overcome.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Hide Yourself Away From Me

**Author's Note:**

> The reason I tuned into the very first episode of OUAT was because magic is awesome and I love it. Suddenly I realized I wasn't playing with it nearly enough in this little sandbox I've created for myself. So this happened.
> 
> I blame the magic.

Regina paced back and forth by the foot of her bed, hands wringing in agitation. She paused only briefly to glance at the glowing clock across the room and then resumed, blank stare focused ahead of her and breaths shallow but thankfully just short of panicky. Adding hyperventilation to her list of worries would be less than helpful.

She'd woken about a half hour ago, a coil of tension in her gut that hadn't been there when she'd fallen asleep. It was a feeling that she'd just recently learned to associate with a certain blonde and that knowledge had her up and out of bed before she'd even consciously made the decision. She was halfway to the guestroom before her brain kicked in and she realized that Emma was no longer down the hall. 

Emma had appropriated the guest room as her own for many months but when Regina had almost immediately confessed that she’d found beginning a new relationship with the woman she was already living with confusing, Emma had taken her room back with Mary-Margaret and David without hesitation. She’d been worried that Emma would take offense or misunderstand but her worries turned out to be a silly waste of energy. Emma had reassured her with a quick understanding peck on the lips and a vow that she’d be back soon and then immediately inquired about her continuing breakfast privileges. 

It had seemed like the right choice at the time, but that was before Regina had realized how quickly her connection to Emma was strengthening. Now it was clear that having Emma across town was a horrible idea. She’d assumed that only mortal danger would trigger the bond they shared but she still knew little about, but as they grew closer their connection quickly intensified until Emma’s emotional state was a constant background thrumming within her. 

That is until early this morning when the background thrum turned into an unmistakable knot in her gut, rousing her from sleep and coiling her body with tension. She didn't think Emma's life was in danger. Regina knew that feeling - she remembered that feeling and this wasn't it. But still, it was something. Something was going on with Emma and it wasn't good. But that's as far as she could get. 

Regina stopped abruptly and stared at her mussed bed, mentally chastising herself for getting into this position in the first place. She should stop this. She should climb back into bed and will herself back to sleep and pretend like none of this was happening. How was she even supposed to function like this? She'd barely managed to make it to this point in her life drowning in her own emotions, always so overwhelming and on the verge of destroying her. She'd committed horrible acts in the name of them - how could she be expected to carry on while experiencing Emma's as well? 

Regina got as far as taking one hesitant step towards the bed when the tension in her gut tightened painfully. Her hand rose to her middle unconsciously and she pulled in a breath against the unwanted feeling. Then, before she could think better of it, she drew upon her magic and pictured the blonde.

Even travel by purple magic cloud isn't instantaneous and Regina had just enough time to wonder if she was making yet another in a long line of huge mistakes. But even as she thought it she was materializing in Emma's bedroom and it took only a second more for her to understand that she’d chosen wisely indeed. Emma was laying in her too small bed, draped across it diagonally and clearly in the throes of a nightmare - the lines of distress were evident across her features and her breathing was just as labored as Regina's had been.

Regina stood frozen to her spot for long moments until Emma whimpered almost tragically and that, not surprisingly, was all it took to break the spell. Regina had dealt with nightmares before, both her own and Henry's. This was finally a situation that she was not completely ill equipped to handle.

The room was tiny and she was perched on the edge of the bed in two steps, hand resting gently on a tense shoulder and nudging deliberately. Her first attempt met with little success but her second, more forceful nudge had Emma’s eyes blinking open slowly, her confusion evident and, despite the circumstances, adorable.

"Regina?" Emma’s voice was thick with both sleep and emotion and it cut into Regina's heart with ease.

She smiled down at the woman she’d wakened as she ran a soothing hand against tangled curls. "Yes dear, I'm here."

"I was..." Emma paused, her confusion playing across her face. "I was having a nightmare."

"I know, that's why I woke you. Are you alright?"

Emma considered her critically, sleep and remnants of her nightmare slowing her thinking slightly but not making her so dense that she missed the fact that Regina was sitting on her bed tenderly stroking her hair when she should have been sleeping peacefully across town.

Instead of answering Regina’s question, she asked one of her own. "How are you here?"

“Magic, of course,” Regina answered, deliberately misunderstanding Emma’s true meaning.

Emma scowled at her and huffed out a gentle breath before clarifying her position, almost all traces of fatigue wiped away by irritation at Regina’s convenient misunderstanding. “You felt my nightmare didn’t you? Like that day in the park.”

There was no denying it even though Regina briefly considered doing just that - she did not want to end up where this conversation would inevitable lead. But as she took a breath to reply she knew lying to Emma simply wasn’t an option, and would never really be an option again.

Her answer came out on a sigh. “Yes, I felt your distress.”

Emma shifted to her side and propped herself up on one elbow to better gauge Regina as she continued. “I thought that was a one time thing, but it’s getting stronger isn’t it?”

“It is.” Her answer brought confusion and sadness to Emma’s face and Regina felt her heart plummet at the sight. “That causes you distress. I’m so sorry Emma… I don’t know how to turn it off.”

“Yes. No! I mean, yes, but not why you think. It’s just… I can’t feel you. Why can’t I feel you too?”

Emma’s clarification did nothing to ease Regina’s anxiety and she released an unhappy breath. "My emotions are dangerous. Emma, you know this. I keep them as controlled as possible now. It’s for the best."

"It isn’t best for you. You know that’s not super healthy, right? And anyway,” Emma continued pointedly, “You don't have to hide them from me. That’s not gonna work."

In her heart Regina knew Emma was purposefully keeping her tone calm for her benefit, but the effect was the opposite. How could this frustrating woman not understand how dangerous parts of her still were, despite the fall of the Evil Queen? Regina felt her tension rise, along with her voice. "Emma, they're such a burden. They've driven my entire life almost to ruin! I can't do that to you." 

The fire was brief, completely unsustainable, and a sad puff of air escaped Regina’s lips, signaling it’s end. She deflated quickly from her outburst and finished on a sigh. “I won’t.”

Emma grabbed at Regina’s hands, twisting and pulling in distress, hoping to offer reassurance through her touch as well as her words. "They aren't a burden - never think that. They're a part of you and that makes them a part of me. Please, don't hide yourself away from me. I love all of you."

Regina shook her head sorrowfully, certain that Emma didn’t understand the magnitude of her request. "I don't know if I can."

"But you'll try," Emma added for her, gripping the hands held in her own tighter and pleading with her eyes and her heart and wondering if Regina could feel the latter.

There was a silence between them so profound that when Regina swallowed tightly it almost echoed through the room. Finally though she managed an answer, her voice tiny and as unlike the Mayor as Emma had ever heard. "Yes, I’ll try."

Emma shook her head, suddenly intense. "No, I mean right now. Try now."

Regina's eyes widened, possibly in fear, but Emma didn't back down. Instead she played her last card. "Please Regina. I know you don’t want to and it’s hard and scary but it’s something you have to do for no other reason than it’s important to me. And I’m important to you."

Emma saw her words hit Regina like a physical thing. The usually imposing woman actually faltered back slightly with their force, but then she squared her shoulders and went completely still save for the rise and fall of her chest. Her eyes closed and her hands, still grasped within Emma’s own, trembled.

For long moments there was nothing and then suddenly Emma felt it - a thin tendril of something lodging in her midsection and making it hard to breathe. She gasped against the surprisingly familiar sensation and felt her eyes widen. Instead of a foreign sensation as she’d been expecting, what she felt was utterly familiar - she’d felt it many times before when she’d noticed something about Regina that had caused her to fret over her well being. But she’d always just assumed it was her body’s own reaction to the worry she felt - she’d never once considered it was a magical connection forming between them.

In that moment you could have knocked her over with a feather. 

There wasn’t time to dwell on it though as the tendril of feeling tightened into an uncomfortable coil and Emma knew instinctively that she was feeling Regina’s panic at the entire situation and quite possibly Emma’s reaction to it. In response she reached up to grasp at Regina’s shoulders and pulled her into an embrace. 

After an agonizing moment of Regina completely rigid within the circle of her arms Emma whispered soothingly, "Please don't be afraid to share this with me."

The coil in her gut remained but finally warmed in a way Emma didn’t intellectually understand but understood in her heart. It was a comforting change and for a moment it made the familiar pressure in her abdomen more bearable. She even began to relax.

That was of course a mistake because, so fast she couldn’t prepare, she felt a jumble of emotions settle against her diaphragm in a heavy and ill fitting heap. They made it hard for her to breath and left her feeling claustrophobic and crushed and physically gasping against the weight as it it were a real thing. Despite her best intentions to remain strong, the panic she felt in that moment was her own.

Regina must have felt it too because, as quickly as it arrived, the barrage was gone and Emma gulped in a lungful of air before she could help herself. Immediately their embrace shifted and Regina was holding her, stroking a comforting path across her back and whispering at her to take deep breaths and relax.

Finally Emma was able to pull in a full though shaky breath and relax into Regina’s warm comfort. “That was… intense.”

Regina grimaced before beginning a babbling and stricken apology, which Emma was forced to interrupt with a slight smile gracing her lips that her companion couldn’t yet see. “Intense but wonderful. Feeling you inside me like that was wonderful.”

Regina pulled back from their embrace and eyed Emma critically, slightly disbelieving as she took in Emma’s increasing grin. “Emma, this isn’t something we can pursue. That was only a fraction of what I’m… controlling.”

Emma’s face became serious and she pinned Regina with her stare. “That’s all the more reason for us to work on this. You can’t bottle those sorts of feelings up and bury them away. It’ll be the death of you, I swear it.”

Regina furrowed her brow, disbelieving that Emma didn’t seem to understand that it was a small and completely necessary sacrifice that Regina was more than willing to make. “My love, it’s not me I’m worried about.” 

“Well I am, dammit!” Emma was shouting and whispering now, mindful that they weren’t alone in the house, and it lent her words an uncommon strength. “Your plan has a zero percent chance of working long term and our long term is what I’m planning for.” 

Any reply Regina could come up with was stuck behind the tears she was suddenly struggling to contain.

“We’ll work on it,” Emma continued, more gently. “I promise you Regina, everything will be ok. We’ll work on it and you’ll be able to relax and stop burying every damn feeling you have and everything will be ok. Better than ok.”

Regina again tried to answer but couldn’t work past the sudden emotion closing her throat and stealing her breath. It sounded wonderful but impossible and still she couldn’t stop the hope from swelling in her breast and choking her. Instead of replying, the tears she’d been holding at bay finally began to track down her cheeks, saying more than she ever could with words.

Emma sighed in sadness and gathered Regina back into her arms, tucking the other woman securely against her shoulder. “Oh Regina. What can I do to make you feel better about this?”

Regina sniffled slightly and burrowed trustingly into the shoulder supporting her. “Nothing. I don’t know. Just... come home?”

Regina felt a tiny smile form in the lips now brushing tenderly against her hair. “That I can do.”

**Author's Note:**

> More hugging, and I don't even feel bad about it. If I'm going to continually torture Regina, the least I can do is get her lots of hugs.


End file.
